things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
