you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize