i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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