so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
