Tell her she can't have a vagina
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
