Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize