Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
