there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
