No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
