i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The air taste purple.
Randomize
