Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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