if i died would you start the facebook group?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
