im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Alive.
So much puke
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize