No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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