Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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