In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
