69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This toilet bowl is my home.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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