she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
