She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
