well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
