My room smells like vodka and shame
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
