So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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