Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
