she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
