i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
