I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize