Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
