So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
