Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
