I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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