We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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