also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
