sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
