Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
