he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize