she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
