hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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