im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
