next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
