My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
