Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
