I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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