Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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