it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
