you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
