3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
