she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
