just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
