My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
