I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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