Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I am morally bankrupt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
