I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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