hotel room ftw
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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