my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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