sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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