She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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