I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
