How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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