I feel like abortions should bother me more
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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