That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
