We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
