Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
