Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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