So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
