I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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